either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
