All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
