Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
