i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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