Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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