omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
