I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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