I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
