I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize