So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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