I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
