How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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