my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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