ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
