I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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