He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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