Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
