dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
