the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my being single is dangerous.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize