yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
