Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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