My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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