Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
