the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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