I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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