I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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