he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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