you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
