Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
