So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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