Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
