barbara walters just said penis...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
