$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
