remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
