Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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