Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
