I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
