Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
