scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
