I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
