But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
