I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize