Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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