4 words: hood of his car
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
