I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
