either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
