Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
