I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
