i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
