YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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