today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Send help, water and tortillas.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
