So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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