Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
