you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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