my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
