Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
