He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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