he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
