Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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