We're like a lot better than the average bears
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize