id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
