so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
